I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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