It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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