did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
