so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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