My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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