remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
