i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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