Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
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They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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