Don't make out with my wife yet
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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