Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
