I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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