Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize