So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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