Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
