its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
