I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize