What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
