Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
