I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
