Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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