so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
