I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
