Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
