It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
