Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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