His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
