i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
