considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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