maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize