Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
