He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
