Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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