just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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