Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
