So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
