forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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