I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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