Who did Billy Mays play for?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
