So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
