I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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