I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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