...so i touched it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
