Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize