yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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