someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
