How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
