I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
