Tell her she can't have a vagina
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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