ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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