Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
