just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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