new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
