I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
