just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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