why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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