toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
