I wannas sexs uuuuu
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
