You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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