dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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