my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
