They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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