i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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