Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
that's an acceptable place to lick
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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