mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
no you cant smoke seaweed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
